Tuesday, January 30, 2007

If recent history is any indication...

...Helton will be a Yankee in about three weeks for less than the Sox offered, Steinbrenner will make a snide comment about John Henry's willingness to go the extra distance for his fans, and Helton's lips will become a dark shade of blue or he will grow a weird afro and start playing right field.

Eh. They were asking too much for a guy that would be really expensive as he got old, especially since his main role would be just to work the pitch count rather than try to reclaim his lost power.

And another thing: isn't it considered tampering for an owner to mention the players he wants from another franchise while they are still under contract with the Sox?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

State of the Onion

He's still an ass and an idiot, but that was a pretty good speech. I like the healthcare tax cut, though I doubt that the 40+ million uninsured will see a major reduction (I'd guess 10-15%, though that is still good), mostly because a lot of the people will still not be able to afford it. I think the lion's share of the uninsured are in the 0 and 10% tax bracket who may not be able to afford healthcare (or float the cost short-term until they get their deductions back in April), but if we can insure another 3-6 mill, that is still pretty good.

I wish he had mentioned sugar beets in his alternative fuel bit. We can grow sugar beets in our temperate climate, they have the sugar that can be converted easily and efficiently to ethanol with current technology, and it could get to market without the cost/R&D to get cellulose ethonal to work. Otherwise, pretty good.

Oh, and the Baby Einstein woman shoul be dragged out and shot. Her business is predicated on the idea that playing Mozart to a child will make them smarter, based on a study that said playing Mozart to college students had a slight and transitive effect. That is, fully developed brains did slightly better on exams if they listened to Mozart right before taking a test, but the effect disipated within hours. Yeah, bilking gullible parents out of money over their inscurities of having a dumb child: way to represent captalism!

Just a thought...

Hearing about all game and how Reche Caldwell dropped a bunch of important passes, passes that very well might have won the game for the pats, it seems we may have traded away a 4th title in 6 years for Seattle's 1st round pick. I'm not saying the Pats would have won if they had Branch, but it sure wouldn't have hurt in that game.


Monday, January 22, 2007


If you are looking for insight or commentary on last night's game, you are going to have to get it from somewhere else. My flight back from Cinnci was cancelled, so instead of getting home in time to watch the end of the game, I ended up being rerouted through Newark (and having to do that fucked up leave-security-only-to-come-back-through-it-so-that-you-nearly-miss-your-connecting-flight bullshit), landing in DC at 10 at night, only to have to wait on the damn tarmac for 90 minutes before I was able to get to a gate (I'm considering filing an "illegal imprisonment" case against Continental, because there were about a dozen visable gates open). Then, after a cluster-fuck of an hour waiting for a freaking cab to pick us up, we finally managed to get home and nestle into a needed sleep at around 1 in the AM. So, I saw none of the game. Although I did find out that the Pats lost while waiting on the tarmac. So, it was an all-around shitty day.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Throw-away, highly offensive comment of the week:

My cold is so bad and I'm making so much phlegm that I've accidentilly learned Arabic.

Okay, anyhow, done with the testing playoffs, back to the regular season of classes. As for this weekend, to celebrate the completion of this massive exam, I've decided to celebrate by flying to Cinnci and looking at rehearsal dinner venues.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

E-Day arrives

6 hours of testing tomorrow. FUCKING SWEET!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Just say it, already!

I'm getting pretty tired of this new 24. Just go ahead and put Assad with a big equals sign next to a picture of Arafat.

Smoke & Mirrors!

Before I get back to desperately cramming for my Wednesday Econometrics Field Exam, here are a few thoughts on the most important event of the weekend:

1. Not convincing or provactive in the manner in which they won it, but the Pats knocked off probably the scariest team in the playoffs, partly from luck (trying a 54 yarder to tie the game when earlier he had gone for it on 4th and 11 in lieu of a 47 yarder, not knocking down a 4th down pass and instead coughing it up on the return, etc). However, good teams have a way of making other good teams seem a little worse. I feel like the Pats got away with on here. Check the post's title...

2. Pats-Colts, round III. Going into the weekend, there were 2 very balanced teams and 2 very one-sided teams. Now it is time for balanced to play strength. Count me as one of the less than impressed crowd at the Colts defensive resurgance. They've played well (heck, better than reasonably expected), but they most have been doing with... this post's title. Herm Edwards is a moron when it comes to adjustments and gameplanning, and backed into the playoffs so hard that the damn team was beeping. The Colts added an extra linebacker and was pinching their corners and safeties in for better position on the run, so naturally Herm decided to run up the gut on 1st and 2nd down then have Trent Green get massacred on 3rd down by Dwight "run straight at the quarterback even if he hands it off" Freeney and Robert "JV Freeney" Mathis. As for the Ravens O not being able to do anything, well, Jamal Lewis has been terrible since his 2000 yard season and Steve McNair reverted to his early season form. The Colts D doesn't frighten me. I am terrified of their offense, however.

3. As terrified as I am of the offense, I will be a little more sane about it if Rodney Harrison is playing. Part of the reason the Pats lost to the Colts was Harrison getting injured in the 1st quarter, which threw their defensive gameplan into disarray (that, combined with the abandonment of the run in the second half). Hawkins and Sanders have definitely jelled pretty well over the course of the season, but those last few games of the season when Harrison game back really did seem to add some extra life to the defense.

4. I never liked the Eagles, so I was pretty pleased to see Reid inexplicably punt after the false start. Punting just prolonged the amount of time that was left until the game was decided, rather than possibly contributing to winning. Especially with that defense.

Alright, I'm off to go study for seven hours or so. Woo hoo!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

What the hell?

Wait a minute, the NFL, CBS, and the FCC all flipped out over the nipple slip, right? So how does it make sense that I see Prince is headlining the superbowl halftime show? Seriously, if you want to distance yourself from wardrobe malfunctions, why on earth would you hire the guy who is known for wearing assless chaps?

Oh, and Manning just threw an interception.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I might get it if I thought it would work...

Okay, so I just saw one of those cell phone commercials where they were flogging the special feature where you can one-touch conference call a pre-set group of people, in this case a family that was then able to accomplish a bunch of goofy shit marginally faster because of this particular product. I was watching this, and I was struck by how truly ineffective this particular marketing campaing was. After watching it, not only did I have no desire to go out and purchase the "one-touch conference" feature for my phone, but actually thought that the feature was useless and that the ad's stretch for uses merely proved this fact. So, I began to ponder what might actually be an effective way to market this device, and I think I thought of something:

It is a dark night. A man, early 40s, is walking in a poorly lit garage, obviously going home after a late night at work. His hair is speckeled with a few stray greys, and he is obviously weary from a tough day spent agonizing over a project. He reflects on the length of his days and the effort he puts into them and seems content with doing it as a way to support a comfortable lifestyle for his family, as a brief and understated smirk flashes across his face, exposing the thin lines that have come over his face, a by-product of the struggle to raise a family and climb the corporate ladder with modest success. He removes his car keys from his pocket and prepares to open his car, the lone one in the empty lot. As he hits the "unlock" button and the car makes the "blip-blip" noise, we hear two gunshots ring out in the and the 1st-person POV camera angle drops a few feet, then tumbles sideways as his body slumps to the ground. A masked figure snatches the keys from his outstreched hands, climbs into the car, and drives off, stealing his vehicle. We cut to a medium view of the man, two holes in his chest and blood beginning to pool around his stricken body, and he takes his hand and begins to fumble through his pockets. After an agonizing and painfully slow search, his hand emerges from his jacket pocket containing the item he so valiantly struggled to remove: his cellphone. Pressing but one button on the phone, we see he is able to call his wife, his son, and his daughter. As they all answer, he struggles to whisper the faint and labored words "I love you and am so proud of you all." He sighs quietly.

We then cut to an ER waiting room, the mother holding her two teenage children beneath her two arms, her eye make-up streaking down the side of her cheeks and the three of them all sob at the loss of their beloved husband and father. The daughter then says, "I'm glad we at least got to say goodbye."

Cut to a black screen with haunting silence, with only the words "One touch group calling".

Now that's how you sell a cell phone.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Actually, that might be better than some of the recent ones...

Last night, I had a dream that I was responsible for making a skit for SNL about auto-correllation. Weeeee!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Back to the basics

Ah, it was a nice respite, but once again it is back to the books. With an econometrics field exam looming in two weeks, I am looking to knock out the 3rd of 4 qualifying exams soon. So, once again, I am diving headlong into the cryptic and nebulous world of my notebooks, trying to cram as much information as humanly possible into this thick noggin in an effort to put myself ahead of the curve in my program. So, if anyone would like to discuss linear algebra, regression analysis, or just rap about the Durbin-Watson statistic (or even Durbin's h), feel free to give me a call.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year!

Happy 2007!

As a personal note, I just rang in the new year wearing women's orange capri pants. Did I mention that I'm 26 years old, am getting married, and am partially responsible for training this nation's youth at the most expensive university that America has to offer?

It's going to be a great year.