This cursed O Grab Me!

1) So there seems to be an embargo on Gillette Mach 3 razor catridges in the cities of Baltimore and Washington, which needless to say is somewhat perplexing. I have been to 3 CVSes, a pair of Safeways, and a random convenience store, and they all were out of them. Okay, what the hell is going on? Did a shipment to the area get hijacked and not reported? Or is someone out there hoarding cartridge replacements thinking that some disaster is likely to befall DC, deciding that if he is going to be homebound he at least look clean shaven doing it? Either way, I'm using a freaking disposable piece of crap tomorrow, and I aint happy.

2) So I am officially ready for the football season now. I have sent in my division picks for my pick 'em pool, sent in my schedule for the survivor league, drafted my survivor teams with Sung-Ho Mpenze O'Shea, and read up on the predictions at Footballoutsiders.com. However, the one thing that was lacking I officially covered last night. I drove to Baltimore to visit the Friendly Re-districted ColOmbian, and we watched the three season recap videos for the Pats superbowl seasons. Man, that was fun. Much like the Belichickian philosophy, I am now ready to put the three previous superbowls behind me and focus on climbing the mountain once again. After a restful offseason, the liver is pristine once again, the throat is no longer sore from screaming, and the eyes are set for more Peyton Manning disgusted arm flailings. I love football!

3) Hey, Soscia: same shit, different day, huh?

4) I arrived home from Baltimore in time to see the last 2 innings of the Sox-Angels game, including Wakefield finish up his complete game and watch Papi destroy that Scott Shield's pitch in the bottom of the ninth, then switched over to the Yanks-Tuberculosis game in time to see Bernie "Don't call me Arthur the Aardvark" Williams line into a double play, Mariano "Fruit Bat" Rivera get pegged with a loss, and Derek "My father was a greaseball and my mother was a garden gnome" Jeter end the game by grounding into a double play. Tampa, the team with the lowest payroll in baseball, officially clinched the season series against the most expensive 89-win team in history. What a great night.

4) Hmm... This entry seems a little short...
Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders! Screw Flanders!

5) Housekeeping item: if you would like to insult me in the comments section, I do ask that in the future, perhapes a quick typo check would be nice, as would learning how to spell the word "Fellate". Also, for the record, my preferred type of feline fellatio is a leopard, though occasionally I will settle for a jaguar or even a puma.