Friday, July 01, 2005

God Schmod, I want my monkey-man!

1) Random movie of the day: Zero Effect. A detective/mystery with a hint of emotional issues. Bill Pullman is great as the lead character, who is a cross between Sam Spade and Napoleon Dynamite.

2) Random text message of the day comes from the Resident Female as she travels home to the Queen City: "Oh the humanity! One woman was so fat she couldn't walk and needed awheel chair but she didnt fit in it. Good lord." Despite the fact that she chose to put the space between "awheel" and "chair" instead of "a wheelchair", I was amused by this if for no other reason than I have finally got her to start Hindenberging.

3) Emails of the day come from my junk box. The following are two email subject lines (sans the ~s and _s they used to try and beat the filters), side by side, received on consecutive days:

"Fletcher, increase your penis by two inches in six weeks"
"Great deals on breast enhancement surgery are waiting for you in your area!"

I also received about a dozen mortgage/loan offers. I guess the question is, what neighborhood would really want someone with a cheap boobjob and a gigantic penis to move in?

4) Song of the day comes from Jennifer Lopez: "Taco Flavored Kisses". Of course, I am referring to the Jennifer Lopez that was Eric Cartman's hand in an episode of South Park. Personally, I think this episode is great because I can picture Trey and Matt and the other writers just sitting around, trying to come up with an idea for a new episode. I think it might have gone a little something like this:

Matt, Trey, and a few random stooges are sitting around a table, looking tired and despondent. One of them is doodling absentmindedly on a piece of paper, another has slumped down on the table and appears to be asleep. A radio is on in the background.
Matt: Come on you guys, doesn't anyone have an idea for the show?
Nobody even looks up. A few moments pass, then a Jennifer Lopez song comes on the radio
Stooge 1: Oh, man, change the channel. I hate Jennifer Lopez.
Stooge 2: Hey, I like this song. It has a good beat.
Matt: Jennifer Lopez sucks. I have more talent in my left hand than she has in her whole fat-assed body.
Trey: That's it! That's the show!

Now, whether it actually went down like this, I don't know. If anything, I'm pretty sure "left hand" was more than likely some other bodily appendage. Regardless, I don't think this is that far from what probably happened. Although I do find it serendipitous that two celebrities that they had made fun of in multiple episodes (Ben Affleck in the TPS episode, and the Jennifer Lopez doll frequently being melted/blown up by the children) started dating, thus combining their hatred into one unit and allowing Matt and Trey to come up with this brilliant episode.


At 4:49 PM, July 01, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to submit a pettition request for your word of the day. I feel that the word "confound" is slowly sinking (aliteration!)into the cold and dark abyss of non-usage in the american lexicon. Lets save it while there is still time. We can prevent "confound" from sharing the same fate as the North American woodpeacker, the dodo bird and sensible U.S. presidents.Lets make the world more erudite, one sentence at a time.


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