Monday, August 22, 2005

Watching fat men bunt

1) David "Don't call me the human 'Stitch'" Ortiz, facing a shifted infield, laid down a bunt single yesterday. Yeah, that was one of the more cooky things I've seen since I the day I bumped into Jeff Gannon on the mall.

2) I have made my triumphant return to the world of bank regulation, even if it is only for a quartet of days. However, I'm sure that most of my loyal readers (that is, two of the three of you) will rest easy knowing that their savings are once again being hawkishly protected by a man who once missed a school field trip because he had been thrown in a dumpster and couldn't get out.

3) Statistic of the day: Look who is leading the American League in home runs allowed, it's Randy "Pock-marks are this season's black" Johnson. I'm wondering if perhaps his troubles this year keeping the ball in the park might be related to some kind of Sampson-esque mullet power that disappeared when the Yanks tried to make him conform to their dress code policy.

4) Speaking of mullets, I think I officially have one. For the last few years, I've pretty much sported a close cropped haircut, but recently decided to just grow it out. Now, after several months of letting it grow, I think the mini-mullet has given up it's ametuer status and joined the ranks of white-trash everywhere. While I am tempted to keep it, change into my tourist fatigues, and walk around the Mall with my gut hanging out, I have a feeling it will not survive my lunchbreak, even if I have to slice it off on the paper-cutter in the copy-room.

5) To be fair to the Yankees (why would you want to be fair to the Yankees? Quite simply, I'm better than them), they aren't the only ones with pitching problems. I just looked at this page for the first time in a long time, and it is pretty scary. Especially when you get to #5 or higher. Ugh.


At 10:30 AM, August 22, 2005, Anonymous Edward James Olmos said...

If you don't stop making fun of Randy Johnson, I will never read your blog ever again!!!

At 10:36 AM, August 22, 2005, Blogger Fletcher Austin McGuffin said...

Monsier, ada-na kobishin angum bitte.


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