Thursday, July 20, 2006

Partial list

Edited 9:15 AM

1) Lauren said...
"oh hi fletcher, just wanted to suggest some other positions that you might have forgotten, but surely have done. 1) the donkey punch. it's done during anal sex. before you're about to climax you punch your partner in the back of the head causing the anal muscles to contract resulting in...well you know. 2) the houdini. this can be done during anal or any doggystyle-ish position. right before you climax you spit on your partner's back so they think you're finished, then you once they turn around you come on their face. good times!"

The previous post was by no means a full list. There are many other fabulous sexual techniques that will spice up even the most exotic of sex lives. I personally have always been a fan of the Bucking Bronco, which is where while doing a girl doggy style you grab her hair and tell her that she is a stupid bitch and you fucked her sister. The goal is to hold for as long as possible. Bonus points if you can keep your cowboy hat on.

Other possibilities include:
The Syphon
The Snowball
The Dirty Sanchez
The Hot Carl
The Cleveland Steamer, or its more sanitary cousin The Glass Bottom Boat
The Golden Shower
The Silver Shower
The Bronze Shower
The Mustache Rollercoaster
The Frenchman
The Missionary Position
The Flowering Lotus
The Pearl Necklace
The Pearl Contact aka The Pirate Patch
The Hidden Ball Trick
The Pink Glove
The Brown Glove
The Longshoreman
The Pig in a Poke
The Poke in a Pig
The Filibuster, or it's cousin the FiliCruster
The Hitler
The Moussilini
The Idi Amin
The Pol Pot
The Pot Pole
The Rusty Trombone

You see, the list could go on and on. All of these are great things to try with either somebody you don't care about or somebody you have to pay. However, if the person you are paying looks like a really creepy and ugly version of Charlize Theron, I would suggest thinking twice about it.

2) Just a note for Sox fans. For those that haven't heard, Beckett just signed a 3-year $30mm extension with a club/vesting option for 4 yrs/$40mm (that is a great deal for the Sox for a pitcher with his track record, and a great deal for Beckett in terms of security and purchasing an arbitration year). So, for those worried about the Sox after Schilling retires after the 2007 season, I would like to assuage your worries slightly suggesting that our 2008 rotation may very well be:

1. Beckett
2. Lester
3. Papelbon

In terms of salary, Beckett will be making $9.5mm. Papelbon will be in his 3rd year of service and last year before being arbitration eligible. He'll be making about $500m. Lester will be in his second year of full-time service. He'll be making about $400m. Barring a contract change to any of these guys, this could be one hell of a top of a rotation making $10.4mm, or less than AJ Burnett is making this year. For three pitchers. Oh, and our bullpen will still have Hansen and Del Carmen (plus whoever else makes it up to the bigs in the next two years) still in the cheap pre-arbitration years. I love Theo, I love our farm system, and I love baseball.


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