Friday, June 02, 2006

Thoughts on my lunch break

This was suppossed to go up at lunchtime, but something weird happened.

1) Clement couldn't do it (no surprise there). Beckett couldn't do it. Schill and Wake couldn't do it either. Yes, only Dave Pauley, the AA righty, was the first pitcher of the season to notch a victory against the Blue Jays in a game not started by Josh Towers. (Okay, so maybe he didn't get the victory, Van Buren did, but whatever, he started the game). However, at least the bats seemed to be pretty alive in this series, even though the Rios-Catalanatto-Johnson trifecta continued their baffling trend of absolutely destroying the Sox despite not being great against any other team. Man, am I glad the Sox got out of Toronto.

2) So, the Brother McGuffin's bachelor party. What a weekend. It had everything: balls of paint dinging off penises, belts hitting an ass so hard it turned purple, X-Men 3, about a carton of ciggarettes, steak and mashed potatoes, taco bell, and, uh, other stuff that I can't think of right now. I will say this: I am glad I will never have to do one of these again, since I only have the one brother and no close friends who might name me best man (hmmm, maybe I need to work on my social skills...). I was shocked that I pulled it off. I mean, I ask you, what do you do with a group of people that scattered all around the country, some in AA, some who need to be in AA, some who are asking questions that are not entirely cool, some who are broke, and most who don't check their email or return calls? Oh, and you are 500 miles away while trying to plan the thing? Well, that party pretty much plans itself, doesn't it? So like I said, I'm glad it's over, and I'm glad it was fun. Of course, I'm broke now. Again.

3) For those that are keeping score, I wrote the second chapter to my masterpiece last night. Things are really starting to come together on it, with most of the outline finished. Only a few more months, and all your troubles will be over. Hooray.

4) Last year, I chronicled the amazing event that was my moving experience, and said I was never going to move again. Well, unfortunately, "never again" apparently meant "next June", because the building is jacking up my rent by 25% and the facilities are run by people with the skill of a pack of drunken monkey that spent their youth huffing paint. I mean, the damn place, for as nice as it looks, runs about as smoothly as a single-engine Cessna in a hurricane. And the people in the leasing office are so close to primate intelligence that I am shocked whenever I walk into the office and don't have feces flung at me. I mean, they are so dumb that their parents must not have had opposable thumbs. I've had political conversations with members of the Christian Right that were less infuriating than trying to get a simple problem fixed with these people. And honestly, I know the only reason my rent is going up so much is because these jackasses use up so much time and energy on failure that they have to hire more retarded monkeys to help them to get all the nothing accomplished, which raises our rates. They want us to pay 10% more than any other building in our neighborhood to cover their stupidity tax, and it sucks. Honestly, I think there might actually be a philosophy with the building to have high turnover with the tenants so that they can more money and charge higher rates on the new tenants. The building looks so nice that it pretty much sells itself, so the tenants keep coming in, but the little things about the building are so mind-bogglingly bad that everybody jumps ship as soon as the lease is up. And if you have any problems and try to get them fixed, you are just met by blank stares and confused responses that hinder getting anything fixed. It must be an act to get people to leave, it really mus be. I just don't think it is possible to get somebody as dumb and incompetant as these people and still have them be ambulatory. At least not organically. So, to all those thinking about moving to DC: avoid Mass Court. They suck.

5) Why not...

6) For those who like football, the essential guide for the 2006 season is now up on the right.


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