Welcome back, Theo

So, apparently, Theo is back in a quasi-official capacity. Which is good. On Monday they will outline the official agreement to the media, as there appear to be a few issue left to hammer out. What those are, I'm not sure, but here is a guess as to what Theo is asking for:

1) A rotating collection of gorilla, chimpanzee, alligator, and Britney Spears costumes in case he ever needs to make a quick exit again.
2) At the next office party, Luccinno must either apoligize or shoot the Schilling's-Bloody-Sock boot
3) The Sox sign Eddie Veder to a minor league contract
4) Dan Shaughnessy is ex-communicated by the pope, raped by Zed and the gimp, torn apart by wild horses, and his bloody stumps are flown to opposite corners of the earth.
5) The third Friday of every month, they get a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.