Monday, October 31, 2005

The End of Life as I Knew

First and Ten!

1) Happy Halloween. May we all enjoy a night of revelry and good times, and not accidentally hook up with a dude who dressed up like a woman as his costume like last year.

2) Yes, I know, I have been very tardy and slow with my posting over the last several weeks. Unfortunately, I have spent the last two and a half weeks living in a library studying the crap out of economics for my midterms. Fortunately, with the conclusion of my Econometrics exam tonight, I will be done with all testing until finals. As a form of penance and self-punishment for abandoning all my loyal readers in the barren wasteland know as the internet for so long, I've decided to assault my liver with a truly heroic intake of alcohol upon the conclusion of the exam, and I likely will spend most of Tuesday morning (and probably Tuesday night as well) cursing yeast and various other microscopic beings that decided their poop would be a truly spectacular liquid that makes us feel fantastic for a few hours yet also screws with our Kreb cycles and leaves us hungover and in trouble with The Resident Female.

3) Speaking of The Resident Female, congratulations on officially completing her 23rd voyage around the sun. Though the tradition is usually to celebrate the first day of the new voyage (that is, the birthday itself), this year we decided to celebrate the last day that her age was the double deuce instead of the first as an ascending pair. A good time was had by all, and this allowed me to schedule an entire day to not study Metrics and goof off, instead of being anxious about not being able to study.

4) I have begun to realize that there is a severe possibility that my students posses less intelligence than a group of beavers: neither group understands anything about economics, but only one group can actually construct a functional dam.

5) Roger Clemens is still smoking pole, and will continue to smoke pole until he is smoking the big pole in the sky. Which is never, of course, because he is going to hell.

6) It is very strange to watch the Patriots. The defense, with the exception of the San Diego game, has come out horrible in every game this season until they have totally crushed my will, then suddenly stiffen in the second half. Also, the amount of injuries they have sustained is beyond staggering. Remember the scene in the Simpsons when Mr. Burns wants to fill the softball team with ringers, and Mr. Smithers pointed out that the right-fielder has been dead for over 100 years? Well, I think that guy was starting at safety for the Pats last night. I mean, that Visa commercial with Brady and all his lineman, two of those guys are on injured reserve, one is in a coma, another has ebola and was just read his last rights, and the commercial's director is penciled in to start at left tackle against the Colts. What the hell?

7) The Sox had a good run, but I am wondering what is happening with the position players. Essentially, the farm system has a bunch of pitchers who might have some place in the next year or so, and Pedroia has a good chance of at least backing up 2nd base/SS by the end of the year, but what are the Sox going to do about 1B, 2B starter, CF, RF righty platoon, and possibly left field if Manny gets traded? Should be interesting.

8) The Bruins suck. I waited nearly 2 years to see them, and quite frankly, I'm a little angry. 'Nuf said.

9) I've started watching The Sopranos with the Resident Female, and I think I am hooked. However, I still gotta say I prefer 24. South Park is still the best show on television.

10) Congratulations to Brother McGuffin and The Contraction on their engagement. My bro and his special lady will be being betrothed on June 10, and I have to say they will make a great unit. Though I do apologize to the accountants of America, as I believe they are planning on filing jointly, so that is one less customer for all y'all.


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