Tuesday, December 20, 2005

My word it has been a while...

1. Time may heal all wounds, but it doesn't stop douche-bags from being douche-baggy. Has there ever been someone you hate, I mean absolutely detest, that was featured in your life somewhat prominantly? Then, for whatever reason, you do not see them again? Strange things begin to happen. Whether it is a function of the absence, the potential for growth and muturation, or just merely that your vitriol has been shifted to other sources, have you ever felt yourself easing up on your hatred? Suddenly, that son-of-a-bitch that you hate with every ounce of your being has slowly morphed into that person you had trouble with so long ago, until enough time has passed that eventually you almost laugh at yourself for being so caught up in that hatred. Your anger eases, your emotions ebb, and your desire to see the offending party rot in the deepest pits of hell while being sodomized by a pitchfork no longer exists. Have you ever had that happen? Well, I realized something similar recently happened to me, and I assume this has happened to other people, too. Anyway, has this ever happened to any of you, and then you bump into that person again? And what always happens? Of course, they are still as huge a douchebag as they ever were, if not more so. You want to just put your hands around their neck and squeeze while pushing their face into a toilet bowl until the bubbles stop. Has this ever happened to any of you?

You may be wondering why I am bringing something like this up, and I'm sure many of you have guessed something similar happened to me recently. Well, you would be right. Just yesterday, I ran into my old nemesis, and he is worse than I ever remembered. That's right, it is officially time to put the State of Connecticut back atop the "Enemies of Fletcher" list, officially replacing the tie that was there between genital herpes and Walt Whitman. I hate Connecticut. I fucking hate it. Seriously, it serves no purpose in this world other than annoying people. Sure, most people will say that New Jersey is the worst state in the nation, but that's because they don't know. What is the common criticism of New Jersey? Obnoxious people, it's only good to drive through, it smells, whatever. Well, Connecticut is only there to drive through, as well, but at least New Jersey has two roads to do it on, and they are actually well constructed. How is it possible that Connecticut can have bumper to bumper traffic, fucked in the head drivers, and construction every 6 miles at any time, day or night? Or how about the fact that 95 has a McDonald's rest step every 12-15 feet through the first half of the state, then nothing the entire rest of the way? Didn't they ever think to sprinkle them out a bit more evenly?

And don't get me started on the sports fans. I saw a car with connecticut plates that had a Patriots bumper sticker, and a Yankees bumper sticker. I mean, come on, can we all just admit that Connecticut fans are the Mormans of sports? And we already know that Mormans are the LA Clippers of religion, so we know how much the People of Connecticut smoke pole. The obnoxious pricks, take the New Jersey archetype and add a haughty and disdainful few of "the peasant", and that is your average Connecticut bile-bitter. Man, I freaking hate that state, and I never want to drive through it again.

And the Merritt Parkway needs to be dynamited. They don't even know how to spell Merit correctly.

2. As to the MTA strike, well, screw those pansies. Why? Well, when it comes to organized labor, as and economist I am a lot like Farva, "Chief, you know I'm not a pro-union guy." Look, I understand that you are all upset that 1) you make shitty pay and 2) they are cracking down on the nepotism that thrived in your business, but if you think you aren't being paid enough, then find another line of work. I don't want to sound cruel, but it seems to me that, other than the issue of pay and benefits, you aren't being screwed by all that much. Quite frankly, your aren't asked to inhale toxic chemicals, your lives are not in constant danger, and your working conditions don't seem all that bad. Now, this isn't to suggest that I want your job, but it is to remind people about what the actual purposes of a union is. It is to protect the workers from being exposed to conditions and situations that are unlawful and ensure that employees are not exploited (well, technically, it is there to ensure that they are compensated appropriately for any exploitation in the form of externalities that exist in the line of work). Otherwise, when it comes to wage rates, the MTA should not be under any pretenses to pay more than what the market will bear. That is what the purpose of capitalism is for. If workers are overpaid, then 1) the MTA will hire fewer of them, 2) the consumer will have to overpay for the goods (whether that be with higher fares or government subsidies, the money is still coming from the consumers), and 3) there are deficiencies in the market. I know this sounds callous, but it is true, and that is half the reason why the US has been losing ground international: we are too focused on protectionist policies rather than accepting the idea that we must be innovating and willing to accept that we cannot afford to overpay for certain areas of the economy.

Of course, this doesn't change the fact that it probably sucks to be a bus driver. Then again, would an extra buck an hour help all that much? I hate strikes, because they pleas to consumers says, "Side with us, we are underpaid and not treated fairly!", but actually means "We want you to pay more for our product, and we want you to be glad to do so!" So, like I said, screw them.

3) Okay, I know that last one was a bit harsh, but I'm still pissed off about the whole Connecticut thing.

4) Thank God.

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