Monday, July 25, 2005

Statistics, they show that there are more children in the world today. That's China's fault.

Feeling unoriginal and incredibly stupid today when it comes to being original, so I thought I would include excerpts from a 3-way email session between myself, A. Sean Fedish, and Sung-Ho Mpenze O'Shea while discussing the plight of women and relationships.

Sung-Ho wrote in reference to A. Sean Feddish's Asian fetish:
Well, personally, I say more power to you. God devised many flavors of Jolly Ranchers, my friend, because he knew not everyone likes the same kinds. You just happen to enjoy those of the lemon persuasion, even if you happen to be a translucent Jolly Rancher that turns red when left out in the sun for too long. Meanwhile, I made the mistake of falling for the flavor of Jolly Rancher that expands exponentially as it ages then sleeps with your best friend a month before the wedding. Now I just dig through the variety pack indiscriminantly, but am always forced to enjoy them with a wrapper on. Oh well, as long as they keep finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of our tootsie pops, who gives a damn, right? Wait, I think I just mixed metaphors...

A. Sean replied:
Fair enough, but when all the kids in my elementary school class were trading up for the sour apple ones, I had just discovered that the tropical fruits variety came with lychee.

Fletcher wrote:
What a minute. Sean, are you saying you have herpes?


At 6:30 PM, July 25, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sung-Ho Mpenze O'Shea is a dick. You shouldn't be friends with some who has that little respect for the fairer sex.

At 9:52 PM, July 25, 2005, Blogger Fletcher Austin McGuffin said...

That you, Lisa? I think it's safe to say he's over you now, but thanks for checking in.

At 12:23 PM, July 26, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course this is Lisa. And tell Sung-Ho Mpenze O'Shea to play with our kids once in awhile. Lord knows Sung-ho is clueless about what to do with Half-asians.

At 2:04 PM, July 26, 2005, Anonymous Dorf said...

Wait a second! What are the sour apple ones supposed to be?

At 4:42 PM, July 26, 2005, Blogger Fletcher Austin McGuffin said...

Wait a minute! Lisa doesn't have a sense of humor! You lie!


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