Friday, December 23, 2005


1. Having listened to Johnny Damon's Yankee press conference on the drive back to Big Watts, I had to find something that makes me feel better, and this did it. Basically, the whole thing keys off on the fact that, as I mentioned a few times last season, Damon pushed up his numbers last year by hitting a lot more singles while reducing his power and walk rate. Ostensibly, the three stats that people tend to look at in OBP, BA, and OPS all weight singles, so singles tend to be valued a lot more than walks, even though statistically a single is creates about .03 more runs than a walk. Further, the hitters who tend to get their value from singles and not walks or slugging, all tend to be very fast guys. Damon is hitting his mid-thirties, his steals have already started dropping significantly, and he is only going to get slower. And this article uses fairly established, albeit esoteric, sabermetric statistics.

Basically, even if we had resigned Damon and his wife, Kianna, we wouldn't be getting the Johnny Jesus of the 2004 mold. Good to know.

2. Seriously, though, if anyone else heard the press conference, the man brutalized the Sox, and even the fans. I was actually not all that surprised or pissed about the whole thing, but that press conference was just infuriating. It's one thing to take potshots at the organization, or as he called it, the dismantling organization, but a little freaking humility, man. Well, his transitition into a pinstripped monkey is nearly complete. All that remains is for Steinbrenner to tell him to 1) cut his hair again, and 2) beligerently screams at him, "Mattingly, I thought I told you to get rid of those sideburns!" And, just for posterities sake, he took a few swipes at the holiest shrine in baseball by deriding the Catherdral at the Fens. I can't wait until he is shocked and surprised when he finds out what kind of "hazing rituals" a-ROD and Jeter have in store for him. 2 AM at the Blue Oyster, this Saturday night. Recommended pre-gaming: a bottle of tequila, two percadin, and a lube-suppository. And consider investing some money in one of those round rubber donuts for afterwards.


At 12:43 AM, December 24, 2005, Anonymous Dorf said...

That's not really his wife, is it?

At 12:18 PM, December 24, 2005, Blogger Fletcher Austin McGuffin said...

No, but it sure looks like her, doesn't it?


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