Monday, November 20, 2006

The Joy of Armpit Sores

Despite the fact that Fletcher generally moves with a certain quite dignity, a form of grace in motion akin to the nimbleness of a cat, the sure-footedness of a mountain goat, the beauty-in-motion of a Special Olympics Triathalete, Saturday night I seem to have proved myself incapable of successfully navigating a flight of stairs.

Yes, after a thoroughly enjoyable night at the MCI (Verizon) center watching what the Resident Female thought was going to be a free hockey game that her boss had given her tickets for (it turned out that it was a basketball contest. Oops.), we were rushing down an escalator to try to catch the train that had just pulled into the station. Of course, the escalator was off, the bottom step had about a half an inch raise over the flat ones, and my foot was not prepared for the unevenness of that step. And down I went.

The good news is that we did in fact make the train. The bad news is that by the time we got to my metro stop, I was barely able to walk out to the street. I was unable to complete the walk and the Resident Female actually had to go get in the car and pick me up while I leaned against a wall and wept like a little girl.

So, after a few hours in the ER, I discover that I broke my ankle. While I still have to see an Orthopedist, it appears I likely will need a soft cast, likely will not need surgery, and amputation is pretty much off the table.

Of course, I was planning on making the road trip to RI twice in the next month, with a third trp by flight thrown in between. So, that should be fun, as I am currently about as mobile as an Oprah-sized shut-in. As such, I am deeply inconveniencing the Resident Female by having her skip taking the train and instead driving me to RI, staying for the night, then driving to her mother's on Turkey Day.

The moral, as always, is leave it to Fletcher to screw things up for everyone else. Although if she gets really mad about it, I could always just crush up one of the pain meds they gave me and sprinkle it over her cereal...


At 12:11 PM, November 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tips from a salty veteran:
In order to avoid the armpit sores you need to toughen up the skin. Urinating on your armpits, or applying pickel brine can help toughen the skin in the armpit region.

At 3:33 PM, November 20, 2006, Anonymous Dorf said...

I wonder how hard it is to urinate on one's own armpits.

At 7:44 PM, November 20, 2006, Anonymous lindsey said...

did it ever occur to anyone that this is a prime time to strengthen those sexy arms by using your muscles to hop around on crutches instead of hurting your armpits and getting uncomfortable sores that hurt everytime you move your arm

At 12:01 PM, November 21, 2006, Anonymous Steady B said...

Coming in second for D-Mat really really hurts. It would have been cool to see a virtuoso pitch for my team, but I will have to content myself with the reality that $51M + contract is a lot of money.
I used to sympathize with Redsox nation, but now that they have killed the curse, they are just another team to me now.


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