Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Dear Anonymous

To whomever it was that left the anonymous response to my "lightheaded" entry,

1) I have actually, earlier in my blog, explained that I am grateful to be a Boston fan. It is one hell of a time to be a fan when I get to root for the best football team and best baseball team on the planet, and my B's are undefeated this year (sure, they aren't playing, but I'll take what I can get). However, since this is my weblog, or if I may emphasize for effect, my webLOG, this is by definition my place to put up daily thoughts and opinions. I was cranky today, and I hate the Orioles, having lived in DC for a few years and also because that they are tremendous bastards.

2) I have no made no claims to be rational. In fact, the word "rant" is in the title of this weblog. This might be a case for you to... how do I put this subtlely? Um, know your source. I plan to rant, and as I stated several times, I devote entirely too large a portion of my life to sports. My opinions on such are likely to be incoherent gibberish from time to time, because I am blinded by anger. Of course, this does not change the fact that the Orioles are a terrible organization whom I only hope Rome finds, destroys, and salts their Earth to stop them from growing back.

3) I never said Tejada wasn't a good player, or an intense one, or a good teammate, or that he molests children. I just think, personally, that he is a raging douchebag. Sure, he drives in a lot of runs, but he also appears to dine on a hearty bowl of cock, at least in my eyes. He always gets that pained expression on his face whenever things don't go his way, reminiscent of Peyton Manning or Mike Rebeiro. Also, it seems like every 2 or 3 games he comes up from a play wincing and aching (like Mike Rebeiro), only to show that it actually was nothing by having no ill effects and saying so post-game. To recap: he was a whinny bitch in Oakland, he is a whinny bitch in Baltimore, and he is a whinny bitch in winter ball. The guy may play well, but he still fellates goats.

4) Hey, I'm all for the Os making a race of the thing. I have previously stated, I want them to finish second behind the Sox. I am still allowed to be upset by the emotional ups and downs that come from a season.

5) I realize you likey were just trolling to flame and I probably shouldn't bother responding, but what the hell, I some have free time before my SAS program comes back with results. Regardless, I will now raise my middle finger and politely ask you to insert multiple sharp object into any orifice which currently is not occupied by the steel rods that inspired you to comment in the first place.

6) In case other people didn't notice, I am still in a really crappy mood today. In the off chance that the comment was a post by a friend of mine just trying to raise my blood temperature, I will say it was successful, and to not take anything above personally (as I'm sure you know me well enough to realize...).

2 Comments:

At 8:39 AM, June 01, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous Dorf said...

I don't even know where to begin. This is BY FAR the best post on this weblog so far:

"I never said Tejada wasn't a good player, or an intense one, or a good teammate, or that he molests children"
"Sure, he drives in a lot of runs, but he also appears to dine on a hearty bowl of cock, at least in my eyes"
"The guy may play well, but he still fellates goats"
"I will now raise my middle finger and politely ask you to insert multiple sharp object into any orifice which currently is not occupied by the steel rods that inspired you to comment in the first place"

AAAAAHAHAhahahaha!!!!!!!

 
At 9:12 AM, June 01, 2005, Blogger Fletcher Austin McGuffin said...

Thank you, dorf. Your secret identity is safe with me.

 

<< Home