Oddly, this was already in my auto-text...

Just thought, in honor of the day, I would bust out a quotation from 2003:

"At least he is where he always belonged. Clemens is arrogant, talented, rich, less than honest, self-absorbed and for the most part, overwhelmingly successful. A born Yankee, really."
-Chad Finn

Honestly, I can see an upside to this. I mean, sure, I will miss the opportunity for seeing the Yankees trot out a seemingly endless string of minor-league never-will-bes, and Roger will be much better for their bullpen pretty much by default, but there are some pluses:

1. The douche is in his mid-forties, so hopefully that means a part of his fat-ass body will detach mid-pitch and go spiralling into the air like a fucking skill saw. I'd would bookmark that page on youtube.

2. For all this, "it's amazing he is still doing it" crap, we'll see if he actually was that good in Houston, or if the National League Paper Tiger ERAs can really stand up in the AL East. Maybe he'll just be like Randy Johnson was as a Yankee: just a really ugly millionaire who puts up 4th starter numbers.

3. I don't need to suffer the cognitive dissonance of trying to like the used ball-bag of a human being that he is. I was always a little afraid he would come to the Sox and I'd have to pretend like I liked him.

4. While it is always scary facing one of the best right-handers alive in a big game 7, going by historical precident the Sox should be okay if we can match him up with a quality pitcher like Schilling, Beckett, or Jeff Fucking Suppan.

5. I can't wait until he throws a crappy outing and blames it on his hamstring, his wife liking the shopping in New York, his retirement, his anger that Coco Crisp isn't spelled Koko Krisp, or the fact that he hates Jon Lester because his ready-made excuse for his next post-season failure was going to be that he had anaplastic large cell lymphoma.

Fuck Clemens. Fuck him right in the ear.