My life on a Saturday morning

Red Sox game last night: How can you go 7 innings on 78 pitches, give up only 3 hits, have a 4 run lead, and somehow get a no-decision that ends up a bullpen-depleting loss? That sucked.
South Park episode last week: Swing and a miss. It sucked.
My Saturday class: Feel like hell and don't want to go. This sucks.
My Macro exam coming up: Will suck.
My broken vacuum: Will not suck.
Weather outside: super sucks.
This post so far: totally sucks. The fact that none of my three job offers for the summer don't pay: royally sucks The fact that I have to move again because of I can't afford the apartment: doesn't that suck?
So, to sum up my mood at the moment: pretty good, actually.

Bonus stupidity:
A man and a woman are talking at a bar:
Man: I'm a pachydermist.
Woman: Oh, so you stuff all kinds of animals?
Man: No, no, I work with elephants.
Woman: I didn't realize there was enough demand to specialize.

Two friends are talking at a bar:
Friend 1: So I just signed the lease on a new apartment.
Friend 2: Oh yeah? Carpet or hardwood?
Friend 1: Brick, actually.