Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Madness Begins

Hello, welcome to I've Got Rants in My Pants, the official web log of Myself. If you are reading this, you no doubt know me and I don't need to tell you anything about Myself. If you did, in fact, stumble upon this blog because you desperately needed to read more eccentric and psychotic internet ravings and want to know more about me, well, then I guess you are out of luck. Quite frankly, the details of my life are both too numerous and too pedestrian to lay out in a simple blog posting without driving me into a much more severe depression than the one I currently inhabit.

While I feel like this is the point where I am supposed to lay out the mission statement of my soon to be much-read weblog, I fear that any quest to adequately compose a valid description of the future of this space would fail to fully grasp the complexity and richness of what will follow, and perhaps even set a limit on the future evolution of this ideological forum. That, and I am extremely lazy and don't want to think about it.

While many of you may be asking why it is that I am starting one of these if I am truly lazy, well, I am also incredibly vain. I truly believe that my thoughts are somehow just a public service announcement that I am depriving people of wisdom and knowledge when I merely think them. With this forum now at my command, people the world-over can flock to my opinions and learn about my deeply-held views while they search for internet porn. However, I must warn you all that my thoughts mostly revolve around sports, sex, food, and entertainment (in no particular order or combination), so be prepared to read many posts on these subjects. While I will occasionally stray into ideas both ethereal and didactic, be ready for many ravings on the cheapness of infield hits and how I am pretty sure that Peyton Manning sells mescaline to school children.

Well, I guess this is where I get off today, mostly because I don't even know if this will work and I may have to retype all of this. (note: again).


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